Captain: *reads from study guide* Name specific examples where the risk for pneumonia can be decreased.
Me: Ooh! How about alcoholism, neonates?
MS2: Um…what? Alcoholic neonates have a decreased risk?
Me: No, silly. If you are an alcoholic, you’re more likely to aspirate normal flora and anaerobes. Hence, pneumonia. So to decrease risk…stop being an alcoholic.
Captain: How does that apply to neonates, then?
MS2: Stop being a neonate?
Captain: Seriously, guys. What’s this question going on about?
Me: Maybe…hey! If you own a bird, you have an increased risk–at least for C. psittaci. So then, by getting your pet checked and treated, maybe, you can decrease your risk?
MS2: Checked? How would you get it checked?
Me: *wondering why that matters* Animal doctors? They have those…right?
MS2: *exasperated* No, man! Why on earth do you have a freaking bird in your house in the first place? Here’s one way to decrease risk: let the thing back into nature, let it be free! Keeping pets is so unnatural. Especially birds!
Captain: Right. Okay, next question then…