The heart wants what it wants…

We just started cardio. In February. The month of lurv…

As if that weren’t corny enough, I think I just serenaded my cadaver.

It all started off rather innocently. I have this bad habit of singing rather than speaking my thoughts. Like, instead of saying, “Hey, Prof, please pass the scalpel!” I belt out something that sounds more like:

I pray that you pass
‘tis all that I askThat scalpel, oh scalpel
I need for this class

 

Or something equally lame.

 

Usually, people just go on with their lives and ignore my insanity. But today Professor—one of my dissection partners—decided to join in and start singing about this girl who sings all her sentences.

Then he said I could give Leona Lewis a run for her money—which I thought was ridiculous because she can wail a bear out of hibernation—and that led to an impromptu duet of ‘Bleeding Love’.

Oh, it gets worse, friends.

By the end of the dissection, our teammates were making requests and giving us fake applause. We tried to sing softly, but it was very difficult not to draw attention as the random dissection group that has live-action jukeboxes. Eventually Professor suggested we sing Lionel Richie and Diana Ross’s ‘Endless Love’, only the Mariah and Luther version.

It was all very excessive.

And all very embarrassing.

And all very liberating.

I really miss singing. This past weekend I returned to the college campus where I spent my formative years and met up with some old friends. And all we did—all weekend long—was sing impromptu musicals and worship songs. Back in the day, this would have been my daily bread. But in medschool, nobody seems to care about how they used to actually be human beings with distinctive personalities and interests. All we ever do is swot, swot, swot. The minute someone has extra-curricular interests, everyone assumes their simply ‘not serious about becoming a good doctor’.

But aren’t good doctors supposed to be well-rounded, happy people? Aren’t good doctors the ones who may not know everything, but are comfortable enough with themselves and confident enough in themselves that their ignorance doesn’t send you screaming out of the ER.

Aren’t good doctors people?

I really want to start taking an active interest in music and drama again. But I just can’t see it reasonably happening. I’ve taken on so much this year aside from academics already. I love this course, don’t get me wrong. But I love music too. My heart is equally excited by a crazy harmony as it is by clinical CVS lectures.

Do I really have to choose one?

 

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