Little Angels

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and incapable and I just want to quit. I joke with friends about switching to a BA Marketing or selling vegetables on the roadside for a living. Packing bags at supermarkets. No stress, no fuss.

Then someone writes me a facebook wallpost asking “how medicine is treating” me. Or a classmate and I joke about swopping brains and she ends up telling me that, even though she doesn’t know how or even when, we’re gonna make it through this semester. Or a senior drops me some tough love and tells me that I’m going to have to just suck it up and study (Anatomy, particularly) because that’s the only way I’m ever going to learn.

I am sitting at a friend’s house and trying to convince myself that life doesn’t have to be this way. That I can quite easily switch courses for something shorter and relatively less stressful. But as I sit here I realize something: there is no real easy way out. Because if she opted out of her course to do something ‘easier’, she would be relaxing at home, more time on her hands but wishing desperately that she could be a teacher. If I was studying something else, regardless of the workload or degree of difficulty, I would not be satisfied. Why? It would not be medicine.

So I’m just gonna suck it up, then. And I’m thankful to all my little angels who through their small gestures, dry humour and tough love keep me motivated and give me perspective.

They are my heroes.

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “Little Angels

  1. natology

    one thing about this course is that it excells at draining people of all kinds of energy, sometimes we feel we dnt got much to give anymore….but somehow i wouldnt trade medskul and all its feelings of inadeuacy for anything else in the world. i remeber this one time i was at home having all the time i could in the world yet somehow i just wasnt happy with nothingness…..this is were you ought to be and you better believe it…you dnt dwant it any other way…..*psychpracsession*

  2. natology

    i remembe those feelings clearly in my heart. at this one time i was telling myself….hey how about i just not try anymore…but thing is we are not of our own and well what we feel does not matter much, there is a greater duty we are destined for. The plans that are drawn for us are much more important than our feelings at that particular moment cos at the end of that test day you realise you couldnt have wanted it any other way……strongs *endpsychpracsession*

  3. Perspective is a powerful thing. I used to think it was nerdy of me to hate long holidays with endless free time or to go to the hospital just to chill with my nurse friends. And hey, maybe its VERY nerdy. But you’re right, there’s a calling so much bigger than nerd-dom that has somehow tied me to the torture and I really believe God calls us to this as a ministry. But He doesn’t leave us floundering. Hence the little angels. *endphilosophicalrant*

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