Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and incapable and I just want to quit. I joke with friends about switching to a BA Marketing or selling vegetables on the roadside for a living. Packing bags at supermarkets. No stress, no fuss.
Then someone writes me a facebook wallpost asking “how medicine is treating” me. Or a classmate and I joke about swopping brains and she ends up telling me that, even though she doesn’t know how or even when, we’re gonna make it through this semester. Or a senior drops me some tough love and tells me that I’m going to have to just suck it up and study (Anatomy, particularly) because that’s the only way I’m ever going to learn.
I am sitting at a friend’s house and trying to convince myself that life doesn’t have to be this way. That I can quite easily switch courses for something shorter and relatively less stressful. But as I sit here I realize something: there is no real easy way out. Because if she opted out of her course to do something ‘easier’, she would be relaxing at home, more time on her hands but wishing desperately that she could be a teacher. If I was studying something else, regardless of the workload or degree of difficulty, I would not be satisfied. Why? It would not be medicine.
So I’m just gonna suck it up, then. And I’m thankful to all my little angels who through their small gestures, dry humour and tough love keep me motivated and give me perspective.
They are my heroes.