PMS

I remember in second year during the Repro block, we learnt an interesting term: Andropause. It was sort of tacked onto the end of the notes dealing with menopause, without any real elaboration. Then again, it was sort of self-explanatory. They said.

Actually it's called PMS because that's what it is. Idiot.

Actually it’s called PMS because that’s what it is. Idiot.

I’ve been thinking lately that in the same way that you can have a male menopause, there has to be a male version of PMS. There just has to be. Otherwise how does one explain that, about once a month, most guys (I have brothers, so this claim is clearly very scientific) go into this foul, irritable, snappy mood. Everything you say invites murderous looks and everything they do and say makes you want to murder them equally.

And I guess you can say they are just being jerks. That the stresses of life pile up on most people so that they cannot be their best selves. But once a month? Some of them regularly, without fail, on the clock?

I’m sorry, but if a female gets snippy for a few days, no-one attributes it to the cost of living, the pressures of bill-paying week, the never ending social demands on women to be consistently perfect or the weight of expectation from family, friends, the professional and academic environment. It’s always, “Is it about that time of the month?” or “She’s just a cow.”

So, no. Guys will not be given a free pass. Either guys must be considered cows too (but the gender-appropriate equivalent of course) or PMS (PAS? Can we call it PAS???) exists for men.

I’m telling you guys, it’s a thing.

I’m on the cusp of a serious medical and social breakthrough. And a cursory—if highly unacademic—glance at Google Images tells me I’m not the only one who thinks so.

Though I somehow don’t think The Administration would be too chuffed if I submitted this topic as a research proposal for my elective.

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